Sissy Self Slutification

I struggled with a conflict between my desire to be normal and my longing to experience the intense passion I experienced with Matt. Do I waist my time seeking exciting, but elusive experiences or return to a stable safe satisfactory lifestyle. After a week of struggling with my thoughts I returned to the rest area wearing my pink skirt, cardigan, and boots, but I also added a tan sleeveless pullover so I would not look like a hooker on the stroll. After strolling around the rest area for a few hours and being caught by the wrong sort of people I met a rather large framed man who was watching me. I nervously said hi to the guy tried to smile and sat on a bench crossing my legs; he just stared at me. Figuring he was shy and afraid to hit on me in public I entered a one person bath room and left the door ajar, but no movement. I returned to my car because the guy was beginning to creep me out and he followed me so I sat there for a few minutes until he walked away. As I was leaving the rest area a car followed me on to the freeway. At the first exit I got off to get on the north bound freeway lanes and the car followed. I decided to go strait down the rural road about half a mile or so to see what happens. The car followed me so I pulled over on the shoulder and so did the car. I sat in the car waiting to see what happens, but he just sat there too. I got out of my car and sheepishly approached the other car and saw the large man from the rest stop sitting in the car looking at me. I was really afraid of what was going on, but also thrilled about the possibilities. I stood in front of the car waiting for him to react, but nothing. I tried to do a sexy little dance to entice him, but that did not work so I started back to my car and then he got out. I was visibly trembling as he approached me. He said nothing as he groped me; feeling my boobs, ass, tummy, and groin. I just stood there trembling and got real hard as he lifted my skirt and put his hand down my panties grabbing my dick. My brain was electrified, I was hyperventilating, felt sick to my stomach, and my heart was pounding. Best of all I felt like a sexy desirable woman. I placed my head on his chest and moaned “oh yes baby, that feels so good.” I reached down and started feeling his penis through his slacks. I felt sick to my stomach and yet so aroused by his cock. Disgusted by my desire and aroused by it as well I got down on my knees placing my hands on my thighs and caressed his bulge with my tongue then kissed it. I licked his zipper with my tongue from the bottom to the top. I was stroking my penis as I looked up at him and took his zipper in my teeth while slowly pulling it down. He started making satisfying moans. I stuck my tongue in to the pocket of his tighty-whities and fished for his cock. His cock popped into my mouth as I licked it and I came in my panties. His cock was too thick and long for me to get much more than half of it in my mouth before gagging. I used my tongue to lick his shaft as I sucked him and gagged a few more times. He started to moan more frequently and make other noises so I became fearful he would cum in my mouth. I opened my mouth and backed off deciding to suck his balls out of the underwear's pocket. After sucking his balls and licking the bottom of his shaft while he was playing with his cock I looked up and he gently pushed the tip of it on to my lips. What do I do? do I tell him I don't want to swallow or should I be a good girl and just take it. I kissed his head and then gently licked the bottom of the head while he came on my face into my eye. Damn that hurt and smells awful, I was trying to get the cum away from my eye with my finger when he grabbed my cardigan and wiped his dick with it. What a creep, why am I putting up with him? While masturbating I looked up at him and opened my mouth begging for more and he pushed his dick back into my mouth. My knees were hurting from the gravel, but this was too fun to stop. After a bit of sucking and licking I backed off his cock and said “I want to be fucked like a girl.” He stuck his cock back into my mouth grabbed the back of my head and started pumping my mouth like a pussy. Not what I meant, but maybe he does not like giving anal. I started thinking about him cuming in my mouth; I did not want it, but I guess at some point I have to get use to it. Its a gross, nasty, filthy thing to do and yet the thought pleases me. I came in my panties again while thinking about receiving his essence in my mouth. A few seconds latter after gagging he pulled out of my mouth and came on my face again. How gross How Fun How sleazy am I. He zipped up and ran back to his car. What a creep; he just got off on me and left as if I exist merely to please him. I was still on my knees as some of his jiz dripped down to my lips so I looked at him in his car and licked it off to get a taste of it. At first I thought; hmm a bit slimy not too bad and then the after-taste hit me. Damn; it was the kind of persistently vulgar flavor that emphasizes the fact that cum is not meant for the mouth. If the smell does not stop you, the flavor should, and if that is not enough to dissuade you then you are a slut driven more by perversion than reason. As I started to get over the experience of licking the creeps cum I saw why he ran. A car was headed our way from the freeway. I could not run in my stiletto boots so I did my best to get off my knees on the wet gravel and drive off before being caught. As I drove towards the car I saw that it was a pickup truck; thank goodness it was not a cop, in-particularly not the one that thinks I,m a prostitute. I headed to the North bound rest area to clean up and get something to wash my mouth out. This rest area does not have a single use bathroom or secluded pick-nick area to clean up in private. I looked for my purse, but I had left it on the side of the road so I had no makeup wipes or wash cloth. My lip stick was smeared, I had cum on my face, a wet cum spot on my skirt, my nylons were torn at the knees, and my boots were muddy on the toes. At some point every skank finds herself doing the walk of shame advertising her sleazy behavior to disgusted spectators. As I ponder this I am getting hard again. I might be afraid of what others think, but the penis could not care less about my feelings. I grabbed my kit with the man cloths and walked through the gauntlet of normal people towards the men's room. I started cross-dressing years ago to feel good being girly and feminine, but some how I ended up a skanky slut pining for cocks at rest stops. I discarded my slutty outfit and washed myself in the sink with paper towels. I can't keep acting like this. I liked giving the BJ and the feelings I experienced, but not the person, the after-taste, or the shame I felt.